Morning folks
Hope you are fit and well.
I am netither right now, hence haaving patched this twaddle together on a Monday off work, wearing 100 layers, on a sunny day!
Being the sad sap that I am, I took a day’s holiday, not wanting to tarnish my 30yr sick-free record, (apart from Covid)
30yrs though?! What has it gained me? Absolutely bugger all.
Take a day off sick right now folks 🙂
Mustn’t grumble, (but I will), been struck down with some kind of back-to-school-lurgy/flu, it has kind of buggered up my plans, but “life is not linear“, as someone once said.
(I had started to write this blog a week ago, but it has all been scribbled out and rewritten).
The Bone Temple
Where to start with this one? This was potentially the most exciting news ever!
28 Days Later was the 2002 Danny Boyle produced ” post-apocalyptic survival horror” film, exploring societal collapse following an infection cross-contaminated from animals (sound familiar?)
Starring a young Cilian Murphy (Ewan MacGregor was first cast, then Ryan Gosling and then James McAvoy, but it was our Peaky Blinders man who woke up in a London hospital after very bad things had happened, and even worse things continued happening).
Shot on a £5M budget on a Canon XL1 digital video (DV) camera, I am not Barry Norman, but it is an absolute Genre classic!
28 Weeks Later was the follow up, but not directed by Danny Boyle. Starring Robert Carlyle (sadly not as Begbie, from Trainspotting, he would have sorted them all out in the opening scene), it is also definitely worth a watch.
Fast forward to 2024 (not quite 28 years later, but near enough).
THE BONE TEMPLE…
(I have signed a confidentiality agreement on this, so cannot give too much away for fear of being sued!)
About 3 months ago, I saw an advert “Extras needed for film, ultra-runners & cyclists”. (I am guessing because they can run like zombies and are generally skinny, whereas it maybe wouldn’t be PC to just ask for a load of skinny people?)
It piqued my interest but the application process was really overcomplicated, so I left it. Then, whilst on holiday (1st of August to be precise) a friend sent me another advert “Extras urgently needed for new DANNY BOYLE film, ultrarunners and cyclists…”
(In my brief and unillustrious previous ventures into the world of acting, everything seems to be URGENT, or perhaps just last minute, or both!)
This time, I filled in the application (ticking a box to say “Yes, I will bare my bottom to the World on cinema“, so very, very desperate was I to be in that film!
So, I sent my application that same evening and the very next morning I got a text “URGENT, BE AT HARROGATE TOMORROW AT 08:00…”
Therein laid a problem.
We were on our way from Kendal to Wasdale, the next day was my birthday and I had an entry for the Borrowdale Fell Race, the feature race of the whole summer! It was basically slap bang in the middle of our jollies. Could I pull the plug and go to the film set for my own selfish needs? To be honest, neither of the girls were overimpressed that I might be going nuddy in this debacle anyway.
The pros:
– 10 days filming at £600 per day. (New van! A decent van, not the sheds I have been looking at forever).
– Get to be in a bloody DANNY BOYLE film!
– Worldwide fame and fortune to follow, with free cups of tea and fish and chips, wherever I went, plus the opportunity to possibly retire before the age of 80.
– Starring in a DANNY BOYLE film (have I said that already? This was a seriously big deal for me, AND getting paid 6 grand!
Winner, winner, zombie dinner!
The cons:
– I didn’t have 10 days leave (I could worry about that minor detail later).
– It would mean missing the August classic Borrowdale fell race (& the slight chance of getting on “Countryfile!”.
– Messing up family week in Wasdale.
– It would stop the holiday show to go home!
I spent several hours deliberating over and over and over, but ultimately a decision had to be made.
In the end, Borrowdale Fell Race won. I had a few ghosts to banish after my fall the last year.
A love of fellrunning won over film-fame-fortune.
I thought that was it…
Then, a week later, another “urgent” text.
“YOU ARE REQUIRED IN SKIPTON FOR FILMING AT 06:00 ON MONDAY 23/09/24”
Bloody ‘ell. A second bite of the cherry!
So, I booked the day off work, started a starvation diet and didn’t shave off my moustache (as that had been in my application photos and description. A good zombie always has a good tash, obviously!)
Then, a painful bombshell, “URGENT TEXT, YOU HAVE NOW BEEN RELEASED FROM FILMING…”
So, it was not to be, absolutely gutted, but it was bloody exciting for a few weeks whilst I thought it was going to happen!
All change!
The Grisedale Horseshoe was my last outing, on a glorious hot August Saturday. A sprint of race at 16km/10 miles with1525m/5003ft of climbing.
I have a mate who runs for Bingley called Stewart. Good fellrunner.
If I am really on top of my game, I can just about beat him (thinking about it, I have only ever beat him once).
At Grisedale we were neck and neck all the way up Catsycyam, Helvellyn, St. Sunday Crag and still, with only a cigarette paper betwen us, on the last brutal vertical climb to the last checkpoint. Then, being the navigationally inept dipstick that I am, I took a duff route choice, losing 15 places and 2 minutes, whilst I extracted myself from a field of head high bracken. Stewart beat me by 2 minutes! (On a day when visibility was about 100 miles in every direction, I can’t even blame it on the mystical, magnetic properties of the magical P&B vest, known to make a compass spin wildly!)
Before being struck down with the lurgy, training was going well!
I have increased my S&C (not to be confused with S&M) by 6000% from previous years, the dedication to which included selling our fishtank (minus previous inhabitatts, after 3 baby booms in short succession, sadly they all had to go, back to the shop, not down the toilet, or in Tad River!)
Thereby making space for a growing armoury of things to try to lift, wobble on or jump on/off.
Plyometrics and callisthenics were words that were new to me until recenty.
All of which is good, and will hopefully prevent me from getting crocked (the constant worry of a runner), but…
The only thing that will get me good at running up and down hills, is running up and down hills, a bit tricky in the flat wastelands of the Vale of York. So run I must, up hills and down dale if at all possible.
Racewise, all I had left were
– Three Shires Race – Pulled out.
– Peris Horseshoe – Pulling out.
– Langdale – Unlikely now.
– Dunnerdale – Hopeful. (It will be Lina’s first “proper” fell race, so I will be jogging around with her).
– I am sidestepping Tour of Pendle.
– November – two-dayer adventure in the Highlands with my mate John, hoping to avoid getting walloped by a 2024 version of Storm Babet, like last year!
As 2024 has suddenly/prematurely fizzled out, 2025 is already off the back burner!
2025 Plans?
On our jollies in August, we were lucky to be in the right place for a sporting spectacular day including the Blisco Dash and the Lakeland 50/100.
The Lakeland 100 is a trail race loop of the Lakes, starting at Coniston, passing through Eskdale, Wasdale, Ennerdale, Buttermere, Braithwaite, over the Coach Road to Ullswater, to Dalemain House (halfway, and start of Lakeland 50) through Pooley Bridge, Fusedale, Haweswater, Longsleddale, Kentmere, Ambleside, Chapel Stile, Langdale, Tilberthwaite and back to Coniston.
I did the Lakeland 100 in 2011, as part of a NYE bet. The event was in its infancy then and I just clicked online and was in.
(The race itself wasn’t quite so easy, I was the only person without walking sticks, long socks and a fancy rucksack, but I somehow got round!)
Fast forward to 2024, Lina was so inspired by the sight of runners with headlamps, passing through the valley, that someone/one of us said “Let’s do it”
(Dejavu of Mongol Rally. Who said “Let’s do it” then?)
I had already made a plan to train, coach and coax Lina round.
Nowadays it isn’t quite to simple to get in.
There is a ballot for everyone.
6000+ people applied this year.
Unfortunately Lina didn’t get in, but I did.
Now going solo wasn’t really on my gameplan, it’s not a race I would normally target, but at least it would make me get some miles in, something I have been sorely lacking this year. so I am going for it!
So, the 2025 “lightly racing” plan (rather than shoehorn everything into the calendar), is:
March – Howarth Hobble
May – Old County Tops
June – Ennerdale
July – Lakeland 50
August – Tranter’s Round!
September – New legs please! (I have finally learnt to not plan past August, anything at all after August is a bonus!)
Watch this space…
There is No Wall.
Quite simply, the best book I have read in ages.
(I am a snailpaced reader, but I read this in a week, which is a record for someone who reads for 10mins per night!)
Allie Bailey is a UK Ultrarunner, sponsored by Inov8.
She was also a chronic alcoholic, with very serious depression (depression is never not serious) and mental health issues.
This is her story.
We have all got our demons to battle and all have a different “why”.
If you have issues or know someone with addiction, drinking, depression or mental health issues, this book is definitely worth a read. Not a feelgood book and you won’t learn anything about ultra running, but it is a very, very honest read. Thanks to Angela for the lend.
“Running won’t save you, but it might buy you the time to save yourself”.
Berlingo-a-go-go
In the latest quest for a new Batmobile, the search has most recently led me to deepest, darkest Castleford, twice in 24hrs no less.
Berlingos/Kangoos/Partners are basically all the same dog with more hair.
Zero fashion points, but with ACRES of space, cheaper to tax/insure than a van and if looked after, they last forever!
We did recently go all the way to Keighley on the Berlingohunt, but the van was an absolute wreck and (probably fortunately) there was nobody at the car dealership anyway, despite making an appointment. Which in itself had caused problems as a previous enquiry with a different private seller (who when I called previously didn’t seem to want to sell their vehicle) in South Yorkshire had led to a missed call on my phone.
I (wrongly) assumed it was Mr. Keighley.
Text conversation:
Unknown: “Hi, are you still interested in the car?”
Me: Yes, we are on our way. Be there by 2:30pm.
Unknown: “Okay, will be waiting for you. Do you have the address?”
Me: (Sends Keighley postcode).
Unknown: “I’m from Doncaster!”
Watch this space…
Leeds United Ladies
The Youngster’s last outing with Brownies, being a mascot with Leeds United Ladies, before stepping up to Guides.
A match that was postponed from last autumn.
Leeds United Ladies play in National League Division 1 (North).
They used to play here at Tadcaster (Albion), but the Albions is a pitch that too many times become more suitable for water polo.
They now play at Garforth Town, so that is where we headed on a soggy Sunday morning.
Big THANK YOU to these 2 amazing ladies, Bev & Jenny and their team for everything.
And now, into the world of Guides!
Raiders round-up
It’s always extremely nerve racking and never a simple task being a Barrow fan!
The wrap-up to a scrappy season is as follows:
We went to Toulouse – to lose 😦
We beat Whitehaven, the “Jam Eaters”, in a highly important local derby at the weekend.
We face Wakefield – Top of the league, on their way back into Superleague.
And finally, Widnes – Who are aiming for the play-offs. so will want the best result possible to ease their plight.
(Why do so many rugby league teams begin with W?)
So basically, Barrow are on the edge of a relegation cliff and partially relying on the 3 teams below them to mess up!
The ladies beat Huddersfield at home but got trounced by Saint Helens away.
They did however secure 5th spot in their first Superleague season, which is brilliant 🙂
It’s not going to be easy for the men!
And finally…
Another reminder (for me) of yet another squandered opportunity and possible bad life choice 🙂
Stay safe folks!
Johnny
p.s. Next blog. On The Back Foot British Relays gig!
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